My Mother, Mary Jane Duke Tanner, still directing ward Christmas programs at age 72
My Mother loves to sing, dance and perform. She is the youngest child of a youngest child, and I happen to be her youngest child. They say that youngest children like to be in the spot light and these three generations of youngest children are no exception.
My Mother has an exquisite singing voice. She is also a great dancer and all around performer.
Her father taught her sisters and her to sing and perform from the time they were very little. My Mother did the same with all of her children. Christmas was a very busy time for my family. This is because my Mom had us in just about any Christmas program available, and most of the time, she was in charge of directing the performance.
Most years we would travel around performing for schools, local church congregations, and even nursing homes. Each child in our family (all 7 kids) had a solo to sing. Incidentally, my Dad didn’t like to perform much, but he would do the narration and intermediate speaking parts.
Of all the places that we performed, I remember the nursing homes the most. The people we performed for didn’t seem like they even knew we were there. Yet my Mother treated each of them like they were dignitaries or celebrities. She made me feel like they were the most important people to perform for.
I was always happy to get my part done because I have to admit it was hard to sing and play the guitar in front of people who were suffering from dementia. But when my Mother would sing, their eyes would light up. Smiles would appear on their faces and many would start singing along.
She had taken the time to learn songs they would recognize. Songs that pre-dated her. This was a powerful thing. Instantly this room full of wheelchair bound people would be filled with voices singing. These people became people to me. I was often surprised to hear how good they could sing.
My Mother was so comfortable around them. She treated each of them with dignity and respect. And it wasn’t a show. It was real. You could feel it. The love could be felt deeply. You just knew my mother loved and respected them, and you knew that they felt the same way about her.
What a lesson to learn. I think this is why I feel so comfortable around elderly people. I enjoy learning about them and their stories. They have so much to give. They know things that you can’t learn in any other way than experience.
I hope I can pass this kind of love and respect on to my children. I’m forever thankful to my angel Mother for her example.